Sometimes the Deadbeat Dad is a Mom
January 29, 2009
(Great Neck, N.Y.) As the economy continues its downward spiral, it is a rare day that passes without reading about more people who have been handed pink slips or forced to take substantial pay cuts in exchange for keeping their jobs. Income from wages, investments, and savings are all on the decline while the cost of living, particularly here on Long Island, continues to rise. We also hear of government agencies running out of funds because of declining income and sales tax revenues, and unemployment insurance being stretched to their limits. One noted but less publicized consequence of all this, is an increasing incidence of delinquent child support payments. With such a high rate of divorce, the prevalence of these problems cannot be underestimated. In this economy, with an increasing potential for defaulting child support payments, what advice can the matrimonial attorney offer to any custodial parent? The most current U.S. Census Bureau Report on child support may provide the answer to this question.
As a matrimonial attorney, Lloyd Rosen, Esq. (photo) recently handled a child support enforcement matter for a client who had been trying for months to collect child support from a parent who flatly refused to pay and repeatedly misrepresented to the Court an inability to pay. The Family Court Judge finally lowered the boom, and sent the delinquent parent to jail - twice. A commonplace occurrence you tell yourself. Lloyd Rosen, Esq. explains “Did I mention that the deadbeat in this matter was the mom, not dad?” You may think to yourself, a “deadbeat mom” - how unusual. This got Lloyd Rosen wondering - Is the term “Deadbeat Dad” an unfair condemnation of an entire gender?
An August 2007 report issued by the U.S. Census Bureau (Custodial Mothers and Father and Their Child Support: 2005, by Timothy S. Grall) with regard to child support orders and payments in this country reveals some very interesting statistics. First, it should come as no surprise to anyone reading this that women are awarded custody of their children the majority of the time (with a frequency of more than 85%), while fathers obtain custody in less than 15% of cases. Of all the women who have custody, 6 out of 10 are entitled (by order or agreement) to receive child support. In contrast, approximately one-third of custodial fathers are entitled to receive child support.
But what about compliance with support obligations? Perhaps this is where so many men have earned the reputation as a “deadbeat”. However, the facts do not prove this to be true. According to the U.S. Census Bureau report, non-custodial fathers pay some or all of their support obligations 77% of the time, and non-custodial mothers make full or partial payment 75% of the time. Based on these statistics, men are equally as likely as women to comply with their child support obligation.
Another interesting statistic has to do with the contribution the custodial parent makes towards the support of the children. Of all fathers who have custody of their children, more than 92% of them work, either full or part-time, while 78% of custodial mothers are employed.
So it would appear, based upon these statistics that fathers seem to battle the “deadbeat” stereotype: as compared to mothers, they are more likely to be obligated to pay child support when they do not have custody and are as likely to comply with the child support obligation. When men do have custody of the children, they are more likely to work to contribute to the support of the children than are women. Consider the possibility that the term “deadbeat dad” may be unfair, as it appears that there is a real population of women who should be included among a larger class of “deadbeat parents”.
How can we use this information to help reduce the “deadbeat” category altogether? The answer may lie in the concept of joint custody and visitation. Statistics show that when non-custodial parents are more involved in their children’s lives through joint custody and visitation arrangements, they pay all or some of their support obligation nearly 85% of the time. Non-custodial parents who do not share custody or visitation pay support less than 62% of the time. Absent circumstances of actual domestic violence, drug abuse or other such “red flags” where joint custody and visitation may not be appropriate, the custodial parent would be well-advised to encourage the non-custodial parent to be as involved with the children as possible. In such a scenario, the custodial parent would benefit, the non-custodial parent would benefit, and most importantly, the children will benefit. Where else in this economy will you be offered the opportunity to engage in a win-win-win situation?
Lloyd Rosen joined Wisselman, Harounian & Associates in 2005. Having substantial litigation and appellate experience, Mr. Rosen handles all aspects of matrimonial and family litigation. This includes divorce, separation, custody, visitation, domestic violence, child support and spousal support issues, the distribution of marital assets including business assets, as well as prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. He also handles paternity and grandparent custody and visitation, support enforcement, termination of support and domestic violence matters.
The law firm of Wisselman, Harounian and Associates was established in 1976 and is dedicated to serving Long Island, Queens and Metro New York clients and the community on legal matters that arise during the course of raising a family and growing a business. It is the firm’s purpose to help protect clients’ legal interests throughout the many phases of their family lives. This can include handling matrimonial or family law concerns, buying or selling a home, running a business, and estate planning.
For more information on Wisselman, Harounian and Associates visit www.lawjaw.com
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Posted by News LI Editor · Filed Under Money
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7 Responses to “Sometimes the Deadbeat Dad is a Mom”
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Nice try but the numbers don’t match up. It’s not that women are awarded custody…it’s that lots of times the men aren’t present to contest custody.
Also, a number of marriages and relationships break up when the child is young and most judges recognize it’s the mothers who are primarily taking care of the day-to-day early nurturing and rule accordingly.
However, what the article failed to include, were stats on those Dads who contest custody. They generally win becuase have the resources to hire the “Experts” to demonize the mothers. And they do.
As far as mothers ordered to pay support, lets remember just today our President signed a bill for equal pay. It’s called the Ledbetter bill to make it better, and was long overdue.
However, it’s still the men who are opting for non support through murder.
See www.FamilyLawCourts.com/kids.html for a list of dead kids throughout the nation.
Or, see www.FamilyLawCourts.com/domestic.html
and a little sprinkling of states.
California
http://www.cwlc.org/files/docs/MurderAtHome_FULL_REPORT.pdf
North Carolina
http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/domesticviolence/index.html
Sadly, the police are sometimes the shooters.
wwwFamilyLawCourts.com/badcop.html
This piece was neither complete, accurate or remotely fair. It is replete with phrases like “Statistics show” except the statistics aren’t shown.
It shouldn’t have been published. Where’s the editorial oversight? The public is deliberately, misinformed.
- Posted by: Bonnie Russell
Thank you for featuring this article. Fathers’ right to be a meaningful part of their children’s lives, have been eroded to the point of non-existence. My research suggests that this is a phenomenon consistent throughout the industrialized nations. Children who are alienated from their fathers are more likely later in life to have emotional/behavioral problems, suffer from depression, drop out of school, fail in their jobs, and suffer from other social problems. I invite you to visit my site devoted to raising awareness on this growing problem: http://fathersprivilege.blogspot.com/
- Posted by: David Scott
[…] Sometimes the Deadbeat Dad is a Mom | NewsLI.com Another interesting statistic has to do with the contribution the custodial parent makes towards the support of the children. Of all fathers who have custody of their children, more than 92% of them work, either full or part-time, while 78% of custodial mothers are employed. […]
- Posted by: The NCP Revue » Not only the concept of a deadbeat dad is disproved
Ms. Russel, I thank you for your commentary in response to my posting. However, it is obvious to me, based upon the vitriolic tone or your comments, that you have sadly missed the entire point.
As for your criticism that I failed to show the statistics to which I referred, not only have I explicitly provided the relevant statistics, I also provided their source (the US Census Bureau). I invite you to check it out yourself. And if there is a single assertion in my article that you can specifically identify as incorrect, I welcome your correction.
- Posted by: Lloyd C. Rosen, Esq.
This is in response to Bonnie Russell’s comments.
There are always going to be bad people who harm children and this happens irrespective of gender. What you fail to recognize is that they aren’t all men. In fact, a lot of them are women.
The web posting “Mothers More Likely to Abuse Children than Fathers” at http://angiemedia.com/?p=303 brings up a study done by a University of British Columbia professor who finds that physical violence directed towards children is more likely to be perpetrated by mothers than fathers.
Then there are anecdotal cases of drastic child abuse and murder by mothers. Susan Smith was convicted of the double-homicide of her two sons ages 1 and 3. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Smith)
How about Andrea Yates who killed her 5 children by drowning in a bathtub? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates)
Or how about Clarnell Strandberg Kemper who so severely abused her son Edmund that he became a serial killer? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Kemper)
Do these cases somehow show that all mothers are abusive and homicidal? No they don’t. Just like your examples don’t show that fathers are abusive and homicidal, either.
It’s really sad to see how many “mothers” are so sexist and self-absorbed that they perpetuate damage that will harm generations to come. How can any mother of a boy today back the gender-biased discrimination and vilification against fathers? They are setting up their sons for similar horrible lives.
Children benefit from extensive involvement in their lives from both their parents and their parents’ extended families. Too often this is not happening because of unjust and discriminatory attitudes that are widespread in supposedly democratic nations.
We in those nations deride many Muslim nations for unjust treatment of women, blocking them from access to their children and stoning them to death just on allegations of infidelity even with no proof. Western nations deserve similar derision for their unjust treatment of men in the context of their families. After all, they are frequently depriving the children of contact with their fathers on the basis of nothing more than false allegations with no proof through such abominations of justice as the “temporary restraining order” that is widely used by women to abuse and harass their ex-spouses and gain de facto child custody. Sure, some men use such orders wrongly. But frankly they are learning this behavior from the women abusers and the courts that fail to punish for perjury, false allegations, and contempt of court and thereby encourage widespread illegal behaviors that are highly detrimental to children.
- Posted by: Craig
Dear Sir,
I agreed that men aren’t the only parent that could be a dead beat, there are plenty of mom’s out there too. However, in my case it is their father. Yes, I did file for divorce, for two main reasons 1. multiple afairs, 1 in which involved a babysitter and 2. abuse. My only regret is that I waited so long to do it. Now, back on the case of “deadbeat”, he was a deadbeat before I filed for divorce. I had to constantly beg and borrow from others to just feed the children while he was out purchasing guns. None of that has changed since I filed, I just now have agency to ensure that he pays to help support them instead of going it alone. As far as the visitation time, he himself has chosen not to follow the parenting plan he agreed to twice in the courts. He consistently sites no money for a excuse of not taking his children, while on the times I had no money and he wanted to see them I would borrow from someone to get them back and forth. I can tell you this, if the shoe was on the other foot and he had “primary residential responsiblity” I would see them as much as I possible could and if that included moving closer to where he is to do it I would, not move two hours away from them. He never shows up for school functions, and actually just recently refused to come to his son’s 6th grade graduation, who may I mention is a special needs child and requires constant direction and support from me. I email asking when and I get a return answer of no. The kids want to know why and I don’t have a answer for them. This alone has had a negative impact on them, and show his neglect daily in their behaviors. I am held there again taking the brunt of his no show attitude with their anger being takin out on me.
- Posted by: Melissa
Hello, I am a single father of kids. I was awarded a child support award from my ex to pay. My case been put on the back burner and now the arrears are currently over $85,00. The mother fled the state to avoid paying child support and to add insult, she has used differnt AKA to avoid detection, also she has used bogus SSN number to stay under the radar. I have been sent numerous update to the enforcement department with no luck of returns. The deadbeat mom has filed in her credit report that someone has stolen her identity. I find that hard to beleive when has two judements on her credit repeort, one is child-support and a civil suit that I filed a few years backs from her stealing my credit cards. My case is is CS 7231040a, my case is in the state of NJ. My current case is filed with the FBI because she fled the state to avoid payment. Is there anything that I can do to get this case moving, i the right direction on some action. I have tried everything, the offset has been filed, driver license revoke, she recently ask Father’s of America to contact me for settlement. She wanted to pay lump sum of $5,000 and have the remainder of the support written off. I of course did not want to settle, she has earned over $60,000 employment. Any help in order, thanks in advance.
George
- Posted by: george barkers